Selfish

I had to go to the AM session of Bible Study today and boy, am I glad I did. Her main point was selfishness vs. sacrifice. It really hit home for me. I took a look at my life, my job, my daily interactions, and was I surprised. What do I do to take up my cross daily and follow God? How do I offer myself as a living sacrifice? Sure, I do tithe, but honestly, that's not hurting me right now. What costs me to give? And am I giving it to God? Like Beth read, if it doesn't cost us, we don't think of it as expensive. And we value things that cost us and guard them. I want my life to be like that. I want to jealously guard my relationship with God against that world. We are not going to live unselfishly with out meaning too. From the minute we wake up til bed we think me, me, me, me. Maybe I'm worse since I'm an only child and don't have any kids of my own to think of and take care of. I live with my parents, essentially, they are still taking care of me.

And we all know that thru giving we receive *Christmas message anyone?* But I don't want to give in order to receive. That shouldn't be the motivator. I want to try seeing what God wants, not what I want.

I'm sure some people would think it's crazy to want to have something cost you, but it makes sense to me. Give it up to Jesus. Because when we do, we find what our true life. And that's something selfish me wants.

I really hope that I can take my own advice on this.

Cursing and Learning

I’ve grown up in a church environment. The church I am currently attending was the one I was baptized in as an infant. So, I feel like I’ve gotten the opportunity to be exposed to a lot of different doctrines and church ideas. Today, during bible study I came across an idea I don’t think I’ve ever heard of or thought about. In her Daniel study, Beth Moore firmly states that she believes that the nation of Israel will acknowledge Jesus Christ as the Messiah before final judgment and eternity. For some reason unbeknownst to me, I’ve never thought about the Jewish people realizing that Jesus is the Messiah. (Note to any Jewish folks reading this: I’m not judging I’m just exploring!) I’ve known that we share the same Old Testament, but since they don’t believe the Messiah has had his first coming to earth yet, there’s a big differing point. I guess I’ve just always accepted their point of view and not thought about how it could be changed. Just kind of a sarcastic mumbling to myself “well, they are going to be waiting for a LONG time since Jesus has already been here!” How refreshing that maybe one day Israel (God’s chosen people not the current country) and we Gentiles will come to believe the same thing.

Beth also said she believes that God’s chosen people and the church (referring to all believers not refined by descent or denomination) are separate. She doesn’t think that we Gentiles will ever become his chosen people or vice versa. Good thing He loves us all. I’m just enjoying learning new things! Because when we learn, we have the opportunity for growth!

On a less serious (?) note, my job makes me swear. Haha. As any of my coworkers can attest to yes, old high school friends the girl you thought would never utter a vulgar word has done so. This disappoints me. Yes, I know. What a stupid thing to worry about, but it bothers me. I want to hold myself to a higher standard. Well, you say. Is swearing really so bad when it doesn’t involve kids and has a really good reason J I guess not, but the bible does say don’t use foul language, and the women I just called a witch with a b last night ( not to her face, don’t worry) is God’s child. He loves her just as much as He loves me. I used to be able to count on one hand the number of four letter words I have said out loud. Not so much anymore. Not that I hadn’t said them in my head!!! One of my current goals is to clean up not just my vocal words, but my internal ones as well.